Week 20 - Ariana

I did not have time to journal after my practice. I like to write as soon as I am done while the experience is still fresh. As soon as I finished I got dressed and went to my daughter's swim class. I told her I would be there.

I am working on my Headstand away from the wall. Doing the variations without a wall seems worlds away. One of my teachers emphasizes the role of imagination in yoga practice. I need to imagine myself doing it even if I think that I can't.

While doing the Shoulderstand variations I actually said aloud, "this is fun!" Niralamba Sarvangasana II (Unsupported Shoulderstand 2) does not last very long for me. I jump into it blindly, hope for the best and end up rolling onto the floor. I think it is just fear of something new.

Chakrasana - I still roll to one side to get over. I tried it twice - one time I rolled to my right then to my left. I still cannot figure out how to get my weight into my hands and feet rather than my head.

Something changed. A lot of poses opened up for me today - Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana, Marichyasana I and II, and Bharadvajasana I and II. I did the full poses. I am still stunned. Getting my left foot in Half Lotus is suddenly possible. I don't feel anything in that knee any more. I always assumed I would never be able to do full Marichyasana 1 and 2 because of my struggles with Lotus. I gave it a shot today with more of an open mind than usual. I never realized how much the hip of the bent leg (not the lotus leg) has to come up off the floor. For some reason I assumed that the pelvis had to stay even on the floor. The pose would not be possible that way. I was thrilled.

Sometimes I can do more than I give myself credit for. Potential. There is always potential. I know we are not supposed to be attached to how "advanced" our poses are. I guess I am still caught up in that because I am so happy that I did those poses that have NEVER been available to me.

But where would we be without goals? Never realizing our potential. The trick might be in not getting attached to or identifying with the result. Even if you reach a goal there will always be another one. And what about being content with how things are (santosa)? Can we be content with the status quo and have goals at the same time?